New chapter awaits

I was in the admin building today in UBD conducting some interviews. (Oh yes by the way, I resigned from my previous tourism job for a temporary post in Institute of Medicine, UBD – will talk more on this later) As I was walking out of the International Office, there was someone busily pasting pieces of papers on the wall, at Examinations. Curious, I went over like the true busy body you know I am and there it was. My degree classification staring right back at me like a child. And truly it is my baby. Something I nurtured and took care of for 4 years.

Oh I didn’t get something bombastic like First Class Honours of course, I got a predictable Lower Second Class Honours instead, which I am very happy about. But something tells me I should not be happy, I should be jubilant! Yet I’m not. I shrug off every congratulatory hug and phrase with a polite thank you and sometimes maybe a joke or two. But truth is I feel a sense of dread,  eating me from the back of my mind.

And I know exactly why. It’s the uncertainty in me despite the certainty of what’s waiting for me when I finally graduate. It grabs me and pulls me into its clutches like a doomed rodent. I don’t regret the last 4 years, no, but I am sorry I didn’t have the same vision I had during my first year. I was ready then than I am now for what’s waiting in the real world.

Here’s an apology. I’m sorry but I shouldn’t have promised. I’m sorry I am disillusioned and jaded. I’m sorry but I’m changing my mind.

I’m sorry.

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12 Comments

  1. Congratulations!

    It’s OK, nothing is ever certain in life. 🙂

    And CHINA! I want to go there too now. HAHAHA. 😉

    Crap. Does that mean you won’t be here next Sunday? Will you?

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  2. congratulations mau, it isn’t the end of the world with that classification… i have the same 🙂 i know how you feel though…. i was hoping for a higher second, but ended up with what i predicted… i was really let down…… but it’s true what they say.. it doesn’t even matter once you have a job. no one cares! so, chin up, go and celebrate in china! btw.. i saw this really horrible video fo what they do to cats and dogs.. it erally upset me cos i like dogs too 😦

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  3. what is it that makes an undergrad to get an upper second or lower second?like do you have to score a straight As and Bs to get a 2.1?

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  4. yeap, straight As and Bs, and maybe if youre lucky, one C, provided there’s no supplement exams or repeats. if there are a few Cs, as I did, and Bs and one As or something, then that would be a 2:2. u can only imagine how hard it is to get first class.

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  5. assalamualaikum~~

    Hey.. nuthin certain beb… but lyf goes on. N jst prepare for better or worst… >.> hmm m talking n taking sumtyng right back to me eyhh… oh well… due to u myt not rely impress wat u hv right now… u DO hv something to enjoy… enjoy while ur on the ship beb… u hv d chances unlyk others =)

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  6. hi maurina. i came across this post from a random search on ubd.

    “yeap, straight As and Bs, and maybe if youre lucky, one C, provided there’s no supplement exams or repeats. if there are a few Cs, as I did, and Bs and one As or something, then that would be a 2:2. u can only imagine how hard it is to get first class.” <- i dont really get it. did u mean breakdown grades or overall grades? if u dont mind, what grades did u get all semesters? thanks in advance!

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