Walau ku himpunkan sesalku

I am reminded of a post I wrote eons ago by a friend today who somewhat decoded what the post meant. Love lost is a great pity. I do wonder how he’s coping with his heartbreak. Or at least, that’s what I assume he’s having.

In fact heartbreak is something that’s been happening a lot around me lately. To good friends. It is always described poetically by artists. It’s vague see, and well, face it, it’s pretty hard to understand how each person reacts to heartbreak.

I’ve had my share of heartbreaks. Small ones, like everytime a student talks back to me rudely. Medium sized ones, like when I realized how nonchalant Boyfriend is about something that means a lot to me. And some big ones, well, those I still find hard to talk about..

Heartbreaks share some common traits. They all cause disappointment, in one degree or another, and it is that feeling that makes you sad, causing that terrible pain in your chest.

Sometimes you just shake it off. Or sometimes you cry, or get angry. If we don’t communicate properly, we recoil and build barriers.

I probably will never be as forgiving to that boy who was rude to me when he comes in 5 minutes late for class. Why would I want to invest time in someone who can’t even speak to me in a civil manner?

I probably won’t expect too much from Boyfriend, and just share my joys with someone else who sees how important that particular something is to me. I mean, you can’t make someone like something they don’t right?

But when you deal with big heartbreaks it’s a totally different story. Sometimes you change so much that, when you wake up, you just don’t recognise yourself in the mirror anymore.

Don’t change too much.

3 thoughts on “Walau ku himpunkan sesalku

  1. Sigh. Heartbreaks make it seem like the heart is irreparable. But I believe it is, and it will, just not the way you want it to be. Sigh.


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