Panggilan Pulau: An Idiot’s Guide To Jetskiing

Last Sunday, I was invited for jetskiing by Labuan Waverunner, a newly established company in Labuan that caters to your jetskiing needs.

No I’ve never jetskiied before but yes I did it last Sunday. I came, I saw, I conquered.

Prior to Sunday, the only knowledge I had on how to operate them came from Mariah Carey’s Honey video: that is, nil. I believe she green-screened the jetski scene anyway.

The fact that I’m still alive and well now writing out this blog post, leads me to believe, ANYONE can jetski!

So I came up with this amazing idea of making an idiot’s guide to jetskiing, as I am pretty much an idiot for getting into something that I know nothing about, and I learnt many things about jetskiing on Sunday.

For example, if I know jetskis at all, I’d know that the above gloves are not meant for water sports as they will indeed, quickly disintegrate in the salty sea water.

1. What is a freaking jetski? It’s essentially a motorbike, made for the water. They have speeds that go from fast, to mutherf***ing fast with the push of a lever. Above is our jetski, as modelled by Awang and his sexy thighs. No jetskis don’t have brakes.

2. Safety first. Yes you may be an idiot but don’t be stupid and go in the water without a life vest!!! It might feel like you’re wearing an ass floss but trust me, you’d want to be flossed if you fall down from your jetski in the middle of nowhere, no matter how well you can swim!

3. Waterproof sun protection of at least SPF30 is a must. Sunburn is hell on earth.

4. STRETCHING! Before going in the water, make sure your muscles are warmed up. You’ll thank me the next day. I sure wish someone told me cause I can barely move my arms today. Hehe

5. You’ll be using your whole body for jetskiing.

  • Legs and specifically knees act as springs to absorb the rocky ride on the waves, and will be instrumental in maintaining balance while you turn a corner.
  • Arms must be outstretched and locked for maximum strength and control, and prevent you from flying off the jetski.
  • Hands will be controlling the speed in which the jetski operates.

5. Aquapacs are meant for underwater photos. When they’re half wet, photos end up looking blurry and uneven. FML. Anyway, you cannot take photos while operating a jetski anyway. You need both hands.

6. Protect your eyes, you WILL get wet! The waves will splash into your eyes. When I was on the jetski, the only thing I kept on thinking about was how I wished I wore goggles or some sort or shield to protect my eyes from the salty sea water.

7. Get a guided tour for no extra charge: Jetskiing is awesome but if you’re anything like me, it is more awesome when you have an objective destination,

  • Go around Pulau Papan
  • Jet towards Menumbok
  • Visit Labuan’s water village
  • Simply cruise down Labuan’s downtown
  • ….OR DO ALL FOUR!

*** Doing all four will take you an hour and a half or so. Bear in mind, your arms will get pretty tired after an hour. So time yourself well.

With owner of Labuan Waverunner on a supercharged jetski.

8. Don’t forget breakfast! You’d need all the strength you can get!

*******

Labuan Waverunner operates on Saturdays and Sundays, at the Labuan International Sea Sports Complex, from 9am onwards. They also offer fun banana boat, storm and matrix rides. Look for the blue and white mini tent! 🙂 The friendly team will be glad to help you!

Bruneian readers: For further enquiries, bookings, fuss free arrangements, please contact the Brunei agent for Labuan Waverunner, Nazrie, at +673 8 622325.

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